Write Your Own Obituary: A Surprisingly Joyful Way to Clarify What Matters

I’ve written before about how reading obituaries is one of my quiet personal-development practices.
It might sound strange at first, but stay with me. Obituaries are, in many ways, condensed wisdom. Each one is a life distilled: what mattered, what endured, and what was remembered.

They remind us that, at the end, no one talks about your inbox, your step count, or your RVUs. They talk about how you made people feel.

When I began reading obituaries regularly, I noticed they worked like a mirror. They helped me see what I value most, and whether my days actually reflect those values. And then one morning, I had an idea:

What if I wrote my own?

The Power of the “Living Obituary”

Writing your own obituary is not an exercise in morbidity—it’s an act of alignment.
It helps you ask:

• What legacy am I creating through my daily choices?

• What would I want people to say was true about me?

• Am I living in a way that makes that possible?

When we read or write about endings, something shifts. The unnecessary falls away. What’s essential comes forward with startling clarity.

Try This: Your Own Obituary Exercise

Take ten minutes, a pen, and a quiet space. Ask yourself:

1. What do I hope people will remember about me?
   (Focus on qualities and relationships, not achievements.)

2. What do I stand for?
   (Your core values, the things you’d never trade away.)

3. How do I want people to feel in my presence?

4. What words or phrases capture the essence of my life?

Then, write a few short paragraphs as if your life were already complete.
You’ll be amazed at how this clarifies your next step. At the very least it will be abundantly clear how you want to show up today.

My Obituary

Here’s mine — written as a love letter to the life I hope to live and the person I’m continually becoming.

Dr. Emma Jones: A Light to the World

Emma Jones, MD, was a light to the world. She lived each day with the singular goal of shining for those around her and, boy, did she ever do it. “Bring your own sunshine” was one of her favorite phrases, and she embodied it with grace, humor, and contagious warmth. She always knew that presence was her purpose, and her husband and children felt deeply cherished because of it.

Deeply aware of the habits and practices needed to sustain that light, Emma was an avid practitioner of yoga and meditation, sharing these tools freely with anyone willing to listen or learn. She often described herself as a wayfinder—someone willing to go where others could not or would not, and to bring back the word. Through her work at Recharge Studio, she helped thousands of people overcome burnout, reclaim meaning, and live with greater fulfillment. Her teachings which blend science, soul, and story have offered a pathway back to wholeness for countless healthcare professionals and caregivers. 

As a dedicated hospice and palliative-care physician, Dr. Jones embodied compassion and loving presence even amid the tumult of modern medicine. She believed that showing up with gentleness and curiosity was a radical act. To her patients and colleagues, she was both anchor and advocate.

When her own health declined, Emma continued to show up for people in new ways. She relied on the lessons she had spent a lifetime teaching: the wisdom of teamwork, the humility of letting others help, the courage of surrender. Her life’s work centered on acceptance, presence, and the alchemy of turning hardship into grace. She made her final surrender in that same spirit, with beauty, humor, and peace.

Why This Matters

Every time I reread those paragraphs, I feel both grounded and galvanized. It reminds me what actually matters and what I want my calendar and my energy to reflect. This obituary becomes a manifesto and a filter for how I live. Will this action/decision/path lead to that end? 

This stye of pre-writing your obituary is vague enough that you aren't locked in to a specific outcome or circumstance, but specific enough that you really see yourself in it. You chose which elements to lean into. I write this version as I am incubating The Recharge Studio and focused on the impact that will have. At other times I may have been more focused on my sacred caregiving as a parent or devoted daughter. The point is, this exercise helps you connect deeply to the things that are most important and perhaps most fragile or hard to hold right now. 

You don’t have to be a writer to try this. You just have to be human and curious about how you want your story to read.

So go ahead.
Pour a cup of coffee.
Write your own obituary.
And then, go live it.

✨ Reflection Prompt:

After you write your obituary, underline three phrases that feel most alive for you. Those are your values. Start building your days around them.